Parashat Tetzaveh 5770 Dvar Acheir
May We Just Be
Purim is a time for us to mask ourselves in a gesture of fun and frolic. We hide our true identities from each other as though it were a children’s game of “let’s pretend.” While some psychologists might admit to the need every once in a while it is necessary for people to let their hair down and be more “themselves,” the hidden message in this remark is that we spend the majority of our time pretending to be somebody that we’re not. We find ourselves being what is expected of us by others, and after a while, hiding behind these invisible masks we are forced to create for ourselves, we discover the discontinuity in our behavior, and begin to wonder who is the real person we truly are. Are we a fiction of our own doing, or are we genuine to our inner beings. So, the masks that we wear end up being more than just a children’s game as we try to reconcile with ourselves between what is outside and what is inside.
This week’s Torah portion concentrates itself on Aaron and the Priesthood. In Exodus 28 we are introduced to the vestments that they were to wear when performing their job. Elsewhere, the Torah shares with us the details of how their undergarments needed to match the white tunics that they wore for dress. There is much speculation by the sages and Bible commentators that this is to teach us the important lesson that what is inside each of us must be in congruence with that which we share with the world – not only on a physical level, but even more so on a psychological and/or spiritual level.
It appears as though the fashion of the day is adorning ourselves with forgiveness as though it is like a “robe” that one takes off and throws into the washing machine when we are done for the day. No dry cleaning necessary! Looking at the unethical behavior of our most respected leaders in office (maybe they aren’t as respected as they once were in the eyes of the public, even before their misbehaviors became known to the world), there was an element of trust that came with their notoriety. Maybe we expected more from them than we should have! Sexual indiscretion appears to be very much in vogue these days. However, it is not a modern issue. When we read the Megillah, we learn how Esther used her position as queen of Shushan to her advantage when she trapped Haman in an uncompromising position and then accused him of sexual inappropriateness. Even though she remains innocent in our eyes, one can question what mask she wore to carry out her task of saving the Jewish people from ultimate destruction!
One can only begin to wonder how the media of our own day would have such a feeding frenzy much like the banquet that preceded the event that led to Haman’s downfall. How much more would the scandal of a King’s minister making moves on Achashveirosh’s wife be held up to inspection and ridicule in the tabloids of that day – and this one. We know how many families would have been ruined had Esther not acted in this way. We know how such accusations resulted in the hanging of Haman and his sons. Even then, stories of sex sell when it comes to a good story in the news!
Perhaps this is why Judaism stresses the characteristic known as “modesty.” It is primarily used in relation to what a person wears, especially a woman who enters a sacred space and is expected to cover her legs and her arms. It is also a term that is applied to a person’s behavior in public as well as in private. When I was recently in Israel, in Jerusalem in the hotel on a Thursday evening, it appeared as though this was “date night” for the young modern Orthodox men and women who were being paired up by the local marriage brokers. They met in a public space where their behavior could by observed as they themselves interviewed their possible life partners over a bottle of water.
As much as I may question this method of choosing a husband or a wife as unnatural, I have to behave with a sense of modesty in relation to my own set of values and how they may be different from another segment of the population, even if we do share a spiritual or religious connection to one another. We are taught at a very early age, “Do not judge a book by its cover.” Perhaps it is sound advice when we consider the world in which we live. Just because we have access to more information at our fingertips than any other previous generation does not mean that we are more informed than our ancestors. If there is a truth to be told, it is the fact that we are inundated with SO much information that we barely have the time to read anything in depth, which speaks volumes about our inner nature.
In addition, it seems as though people, today, are much more impatient because of our technology and the way in which we have become accustomed to receiving that which we desire. In a matter of years, we have advanced from 2G to 3G to 4G, without my ever knowing what that means to me and my ability to make a phone call without it being dropped. In an article written by Rabbi Yonasan Goldson on Purim and Tiger Woods, he writes, “The acceleration of technology has rendered us far more vulnerable to the curse of superficiality… Instant access to everything has left us impatient and unwilling to exert the effort to acquire anything that requires time and discipline. We don’t want to work for what is truly valuable, so we value only that which demands little work.”
Working hard means checking in with one’s inner self on a regular basis and making sure that the image that we project to the outside world is in synch with the one that is inside of us. Rabbi Goldson concludes his article with these words of advice to help us in our own misguided search for certain things that fame and fortune might provide us:
“A life of modesty focuses our attention on the rewards that come with a rich inner life of enduring values and true purpose, a life all the richer for its privacy, its quiet dignity, and the contentment that, once lost, can never be recaptured by making public apologies for having abused the narcotics of power and fame.”
May this Purim be an opportunity for all of us to reflect upon the meaning of our lives, and determine if the inner self matches the outer self… I hope that you enjoy this poem provided by Rabbi Goldson as a blessing for this week as we begin preparing for Passover and the holiday that celebrates our freedom from those things have caused us to become restricted, both inside and outside of ourselves.
Purim Greetings
May you be turned inside out upside down and outside in
May your masks be masked and your inside unmasked
May your countenance (panim) shine from within (panim) as you meet yourself face to face
May your masquerade no longer be needed as the shrouds fade away
May your child smile and dance as the facade is lifted
May you just be.
May we all just be – with ourselves in joy and in wholenes.
