Parashat Nitzvim / Vayelekh 5770
Over the past several weeks we have been offered a litany of blessings and curses from Moses as he prepares the new generation of Israel to enter the land promised to them by God. He tells them that if they follow in God’s ways, they will be rewarded on the land; however, if they stray from the laws set before them they can expect numerous curses to challenge their existence in Israel. The words are not meant to be taken literally. Rather, they are meant to be understood in their spiritual sense on what it means to create a life of meaning by “choosing life” – choosing those things in life that will serve our greater purpose as God’s partner in working towards perfecting the world entrusted to us. As we all know, from our own life experiences, this is not an easy task. We indeed stray despite our reminder twice each day in the Shema to not be fooled by our eyes nor by our heart’s desires when tempted to go in the opposite direction of “doing good.”
Penina Adelman wrote in an old issue of Sh’ma magazine, in an article titled “What Life Gives”: “Each year the divine voice deep inside me calls out to the rest of my being stuck in the everyday mud of things to look, listen, and learn from my deeds. Each year I strain to hear that voice the best I can, even though I am distracted as I sit in shul by the colors and textures of new clothes and the many, many pages left in the prayer book.” (September 2005) What seems to wake her from that reverie are the words of the Unetaneh Tokef prayer that appear to connect her to something much larger than herself, as well as reaching down deep into her inner reservoir.
She is not alone in that regard. I, too, feel a tugging deep inside of me as I hear these words being chanted in the same way that each morning I feel the rope tug when I recite the opening words to Psalm 30, “I extol You, O Lord, for you have lifted me up…” The Hebrew word for “lifting up” is related to the Hebrew word for “pitcher” – “d’lee.” I am the pitcher at the end of the rope that has been sent down into the pits of my despair and asked to reach into that well of water that resides inside of us so that God can tug on our rope and wheel us up.
As the words begin to unfold, “who shall live and who shall die, who by fire and who by water…”, Penina shares with us, “I can see the past year before me unwinding like a scroll. I see people I knew and loved who have died. I see people who were struck by illness, and people who got better. I see people who lost their jobs or failed in their work, and I see people who were recognized for their work and their humanity. I see women who gave birth, and women and men who became parents… (and) I think about how I have no control, ultimately over the duration of my life, but not over its quality.”
Despite what we may believe the Unetaneh Tokef prayer may be trying to teach us about God as judge and jury over the fate of our lives, even Moses claims in the Torah reading for this week, “lo bashamayim hu” – “it is not up to heaven” – to decide for us what the ultimate outcome of our lives might be. According to the author of this piyyut, this liturgical piece, there are parts of our life where we do have some control. By engaging in these activities we have a path to follow that will enable us to look back on our lives with a greater sense of meaning and happiness. “U’teshuvah, u’tefilah, u’tzedakah ma’avirin et hagezierah. Teshuvah (connecting to one’s inner core), Tefilah (connecting to a force outside of ourselves who can be our spiritual authority and guide) and Tzedakah (connecting to those in our lives who can benefit from us and our attentiveness) are the pavers that will give us the firm foundation we seek to build lives that have purpose and meaning.
I was reading an article in my bimonthly issue of Spirituality & Health that sheds light onto why these three values might lift us up each year when we confront ourselves on the Yamim Nora’im, the Days of Awe, as they are referred to by the sages. Steve Lawler, who is an Episcopalian priest, has spent a lifetime noticing patterns in people’s behavior. In this article he introduces his ideas on “The Pattern of Fulfillment.” As a sociologist, he has come to the conclusion that the people who enjoy life most, and who regularly express vitality and creativity are those individuals who exhibit a pattern of life that includes “knowing yourself, being yourself, and giving yourself away” – “u’teshuvah, u’tefillah, u’tzedkah”!
According to Steve Lawler, throughout our lives we discover who we are through our many relationships, whether it be “with the universe, God, nature, one another, even with the various selves we are through the course of a day. It is variability of these relationships that provides the many vectors we can use to identify whom we are.” Teshuvah is the process that we use to reconnect to these elements of who we are by turning back to the source within ourselves that needs honoring. Not only do we express our regret and our grief at having strayed from the path of righteousness that identifies us as who we are, we pledge to make restitution in our efforts to go back to that place of purity, in order to be replenished through our relationships once again, healed and restored. In the process “we deepen our awareness of the many versions of self (that we have portrayed to others) and (try to) integrate those facets into a (more) cohesive self (that) leads us to the fullness and richness of what (life has to give us).”
When we are sincere about our efforts, we create a written record. It is this record that the Unetaneh Tokef refers to when it mentions the Book of Life that is introduced on Rosh Hashanah and goes to print at the end of Yom Kippur. We write the words and then sign our name to them before they are presented to the general public. As we write, paint, sculpt, blog, twit, text – or whatever other means we wish to record our lives – Steve Lawler encourages us to ask ourselves three questions:
“Who am I to me? Who am I to you? Who am I to us?”
The questions are not much different than the ones that we recite as part of our morning practice as we begin our day in prayer, words lifted from the Yom Kippur service so that they become a more regular part of our waking up each day not only to the universe but more importantly to ourselves. As we begin to answer these tough questions, we begin to realize we are less what we do and more what are being that counts.
Tefilah is related to Steve Lawler’s second characteristic, “Be Yourself.” He says that this attribute of achieving a life of happiness “comes form identifying those regular habits and behaviors that keep you centered in your self, in your being.” Being in reflection is what enables us to reach into ourselves and connect with that force greater than ourselves enabling us to see who we really are in that reflection of the Divine Spirit. Praying is not the only path to achieving a sense of inner peace with one’s self. We can connect with “God” or “the spirit” in other ways. For some people, it may be jogging. For others it may be time spent in a hobby such as woodworking, knitting, reading to another person or child, painting, sculpting, walking in the woods. “Whatever keeps you faithful to yourself” is a valid path towards developing a better self in connection to that higher force that guides us in our actions. Finding that source that is unique to our biorhythms is what ultimately leads us live “healthier, happier, and more effective lives.”
Tzedakah, “Giving Yourself Away,” is the third element that Steve Lawler claims will bring us a sense of contentment. I have read from several different sources how we become more generous in our older years because we have discovered how truly life affirming it can be to give of yourself to others – and not expect anything in return. So, what does “giving one’s self away” look like? It is difficult to define since there are any number of ways to become involved in tikkun ha’olam, fixing the world. Whether it is becoming involved with a cause, or lending a hand to an individual in need, volunteering for an organization… each has its merits. When we open ourselves to others with the intent to give, it is we who grow as well from the gift, as we discover what it means to live a richer and more meaningful life that involves a deeper sense of self.
Teshuvah, tefilah, and tzedakah – in this realm of the heaven and earth relationship – take on an even greater significance in the light of this Torah reading as we prepare ourselves for Rosh Hashanah and the work that lies ahead on developing a plan on how each of us can lessen the severity of our decrees by leading a richer, deeper, and more attentive life style.
